Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Comments By : Danil Daud

The Panel of Morons issued its first ever decision in the Hulu Selongkar case. The Panel ruled 3-2 in favor of the Plaintiff, Zack Ibrouhim of Pakitan , that Kamal Nutties , the info-chief of Monkees In Cage (MIC) a component of Big Nuisance or in short BN , is a Moron.

In its complaint, Pakitan argued that Mr. Kamal Nutties should be declared a Moron for persuading a neglected group of poor , mostly toddy addicts to join forces with Perkosong , a purba-like tribal outfit similar to the 10000 BC Cavemen if they harboured any dreams , wet or dry of getting their hands on an expensive bottle of Chivas . In arguing the Plaintiff’s claim against Mr. K. Nutties, the Undersecretary of State for Moron Affairs, Mr.Kacang Kodah, asked, “ Pakitan and its allies have committed themselves in improving the lives of these neglected lot and if they insist on having a sip of Chivas , Mr. Angap the chief of Slongkar’s Pakitan is willing to consider. Why would Mr. Kamal Nutties in an attempt to win support hoodwink an already cheated community ? He is either a Moron, or he himself was high on samsu haram at the time.”

In a written statement issued by Hindwarf, the org. stated that
it is shocked to see this comment appearing in media outlets, Hindwarf has put fighting against segregation of this group of people and fighting against those who oppressed ‘our’ people as priority No. 1.  And in that context, whoever has come up with that comment is a Moron.
Mr. Thin , Mr. Barker , Mr.Nosofrank , and Ms. Libis voted in favor of the Plaintiff. “It is, like, you know, our opinion,” wrote Ms. Libis, “that Mr. Kamal Nutties is a Moron. Did you know he wears his wife’s cups as his cap ? As a proud member of Womans-lib, I think that’s just gross and disgusting.”
Gov. Bribescam Carlo Coyote and Madame La-la-bye dissented. “How,” asked Madame La-la-bye , “can anyone call the most chic malaysian a Moron? Besides, illicit samsu can really f–k you up.”
Mr. Kamal Nutties Moron Quotient is calculated to be 0.39, classifying him as a Quasi-Moron.

Ooops , should be 4-2

MIC’s Kamal goes after Malay votes in Hulu Selangor

by S Pathmawathy
INTERVIEW Right-wing group PERKASA is not belligerent against non-Malays as its aim is to promote the empowerment of the Malay community, said BN’s Hulu Selangor candidate P Kamalanathan.
The 44-year-old public relations manager, whose task is to convince Hulu Selangor’s 34,020 – or 52.7 percent of – Malay voters of Hulu Selangor that he is their man in the upcoming by-election, said that PERKASA’s role is about “empowering” the Malay race and it does not trample on the rights of other races.
NONE“PERKASA has its own role. It is strengthening its (Malay) race, its language and its religion, and we (MIC) are also doing the same by strengthening our race, religion and language,” he stressed.
“Is it wrong for me to want to memperkasakan (empower) my race and my language? Is it wrong for me to want to memperkasakan Tamil schools?” he asked.
Speaking to Malaysiakini at his home in Taman Garing, Kamalanathan said that despite championing one’s own ethnic group, it is crucial that economic growth and wealth is shared by all.
The MIC candidate, who is carrying the BN flag in the tussle with the opposition alliance of Pakatan Rakyat, is confident of gaining solid support from all communities with the help of its coalition partners – UMNO, MCA and Gerakan.
Asked about his strategy for winning back the support of Indian community which has turned its back on former incumbent G Palanivel in the 2008 general election, Kamalanathan said:
“We are never contented. Even if we have regain the Indian ground, we will continue to work. Gone are the days when we sat back and say they all will believe us. We are on our toes everyday.” Moreover, he reminded that the marginalised Indian community has been given “a lot of support” from Palanivel, but it is up to them to make use of it.
“We can only take the horse to water but we cannot force the horse to drink it. Sometimes opportunities don’t come rolling to your door, I am where I am today because I worked hard.  Every Malaysian is successful today because they worked hard… we must believe in our abilities and we must have confidence as we must also be motivated and inspired to be successful,” he said.
‘Kamalanathan speaks better Malay than Zaid’
Kamalanathan, 44, who hails from neighbouring Rawang, also highlighted that his command of the Malay language has been praised by others to be better than by-election opponent Zaid Ibrahim’s.
“I read on Twitter, and one posting said that, ‘I’m surprised Kamalanathan speaks better Malay than Zaid…’ and this was not said by an Indian or Chinese but a Malay,” he said. Kamalanathan argued that he lives close enough to Hulu Selangor to be considered a local.
NONE“Hulu Selangor is only a stone throw away from Rawang… I have lived in Rawang for 43 years and I have many relatives and friends from the constituency,” he said.
Taking a swipe at Zaid, who was formerly from Kota Bharu, the MIC national information chief said his advantage is that he understands the needs of the people that he has grown up with.
“Rawang is so much closer to Hulu Selangor, the nearest town is Sungai Choh, I have many friends whom I studied with – from Sungai Buaya, Sungai Gapi and Serendah because at that time everyone attended Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan (SMK) Seri Garing (a secondary school in Rawang),” he said.
“I know a lot of friends and family who live in Serendah and I have a lot linkages (so much so) during the durian season, I have a friend in Ladang Sungai Choh who owns an orchard and we would go there to have durians,” he added.
“I live nearby so I am able to convince and talk to the people on what I can do… I don’t want to know what Zaid can do, I don’t want to know what Pakatan is going do, and it is their right to do whatever they want.”
NONEKamalanathan was quick to add that he is a “team player”, unlike Zaid who left UMNO in 2008. “I will not abandon the ship I’m sailing, I will sink and swim with this party and with the people of Hulu Selangor. If there is a problem, I will find a solution within the system. I will not jump ship.”
Zaid, who was formerly the law minister and senator, had resigned from his post in protest to the arbitrary detention of Selangor executive councillor Teresa Kok, blogger Raja Petra Kamaruddin and journalist Tan Hoon Cheng.
He was later sacked from UMNO for attending several opposition events. Last year, Zaid joined PKR, and has been entrusted with the task of drawing up Pakatan’s common policy framework.
Asked if winning the election would bring MIC back its former glory, Kamalanathan said: “MIC is not about Kamalanathan… MIC has more than 500,000 members throughout the country. Winning and losing an election is part of the process, and losing does not mean MIC has not done anything”.
He also said that he is confident that the party grassroots who were slightly disgruntled over the sidelining of G Palanivel, will eventually support him. “They will return to support me. Maybe it will take a day or two, but they will return. Plus, I will meet them after this,” he said.

Hulu Selangor a green wonderland
Besides vowing to win back the support of the people, Kamalanathan also spoke of his aspirations for the bucolic Hulu Selangor.  “The environment, greenery and the coolness of Kuala Kubu Bahru is very peaceful and quiet. It gives you inspiration. I like Kuala Kubu Bahru,” he said.
One of his ambitious plans is to turn Hulu Selangor into an educational hub, which in turn, would transform the social economic woes in the area, he said.
NONE“There is a lot of possibilities for educational institutions there… the prime minister and the deputy prime minister have made a decision to build a UiTM there. It is an indication of how serious we are…
“YBK (Yayasan Basmi Kemiskinan) is working very hard, they have a piece of land and they want to build a university,” he said.
“They want to construct an educational city, and with that there will be new development there. Houses rental will go up, with this other institutions will come and livelihood can be uplifted and abandoned housing project can be revived,” he added energetically.
Satellite townships such as Bukit Beruntung, Bukit Sentosa, Sungai Cho, Sungai Buaya, Kampung Koskan, Serendah, Kerling, Kalompang, Batang Kali, Hulu Yam, Rasa and Pertak, all have its own unique selling point, he added.
“The basic necessities of the people who live there must be solve. The Maslow’s hierarchy of needs says that the most important thing is a place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear,” he said.

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